Seriously deviated from what I should be doing today but found some old t-shirt designs and drawings that I started to develop and colour in :)

Seriously deviated from what I should be doing today but found some old t-shirt designs and drawings that I started to develop and colour in :)

Wolfenstein: The New Order / Review (PS3)

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There’s no beating around the bush here, Wolfenstein has always been an arcade-type fps. It never took itself too seriously and simply does what it says on the tin - shoot nazis and enjoy yourself! The problem is… well that.

It’s all fair to say that it has never taken itself too seriously and therefore doesn’t invade the world of intimate storytelling and free-roaming maps but clings on and continues with a linear path that in some places literally holds the gamers hand.

What Wolfenstein reeks of is potential. I actually thoroughly enjoyed this games predecessor on the Xbox 360. There seemed to be a lot to explore and more to explore if returning to somewhere you’ve already been. It felt like the game was expanding as you played through it. However we’ve played and seen a lot since the last time Wolfenstein cropped up on our radars and whilst the last one didn’t look amazing, New Order should, really, look the nuts. However it doesn’t.

I don’t like moaning about graphics on a game because it’s not the most important aspect but New Order really is something of a puzzler. Here we have Bethesda overlooking things and yet we get something that looks like shit on a plate. I played the game on the PS3 not next gen but that’s just no excuse for the graphics being this poor. Riddick Butchers Bay looks better than this and that’s pre-PS3 and 360 (despite being re-released on the platforms). I also highly doubt that it blows ones mind away on XboxOne or PS4 though - in fact it feels like a next gen port for PS3. Textures take a while to load and when they do, you’re still waiting and thinking that they have to be better than that… they’re not. So graphics are in general, really bad but what other visual elements are not holding up?

The design of the game is also lacking. The robots feel very cartoony and tongue-in-cheek and whilst understandably it’s not a game to take itself too seriously, I do have to question, what exactly, if anything, has been taken seriously? The big dog-bots are awful in their design, the bigger mechs; not so much but not at all original looking. They don’t feel like they belong to the world and feel more like they’ve been ripped off of some other game or idea and just shoved into New Order. It’s incredibly clumsy and feels like a mix of direction, nothing gels artistically. Enemy characters are cool looking though and you’re surrounding crew are a little run-of-the-mill but not quite as obvious a design as the lead. You play an american with a big jaw. Might as well have been Serious Sam. Need I say more? Other things that scream “Christ I can do better than that in my sleep!” is the menu/ title screen and the bloody dreadful graphics on the loading screens - so dull. Speaking of loading, it takes an age for a trophy to trigger. Also, speaking of menus, where are my volume controls for music and sound fx?! AND the usual configuration for an FPS controller?! Call Of Duty is unfortunately the norm now! Amateurs!

It’s all rather clunky feeling and rushed and I miss the old school machine guns and pistols, flamethrowers and electric guns that scream “Wolfenstein”! It doesn’t feel very World War 2 or even post-war. There should be more of a sense of enclosure and curfew like you get from The Last Of Us or Half Life 2. I didn’t feel threatened in the world and for a world run by Nazi’s and Hitler, I should be bricking it. There needed to be a better insight into the streets of a Nazi controlled city - more realtime drama but nothing like that is here.

You’re given one choice in the game to choose which one of your team you would like to die. Choosing one or the other, for some reason, determines whether you can pick a lock or pick an electronic lock… yep, you can’t have both. WHY?! Also picking a lock seems like a matter of chance, I have no idea how to use my controller to pick a lock… it just sort of… happens.

There’s no multiplayer and this for me is not a downer - I hate multiplayer so this made me more excited thinking there would be a bigger single player game as a result. One of the greatest things about Bioshock was no multiplayer and instead it had a huge and spectacular single player campaign… and what happened when they put in a multiplayer for the second game? It ended up being a bit shit and people lost interest, fast. Fortunately New Order has a fairly lengthy single player campaign but there is/ was room to do so much more with it. Level design is great but bigger maps could’ve led to a more natural feeling of personal conquer - seeking out secrets and side quests but there aren’t any “major” secrets and side quests within missions are painfully missing. Whilst there is a great mixture of shooting and stealth - stealth being something that is lacking with a lot of FPS’s nowadays, aside from Dishonoured of course - the level design doesn’t make it that challenging to be stealthy. It’s all very easy and way too straight forward.

I can’t quite tell you what’s happened to Wolfenstein. There was one very brief moment where I felt like I was playing the last Duke Nukem game… which, yes, I did unfortunately play. But that’s not to say this isn’t fun, it’s simply not the memorable leader of FPS games I was hoping it would be this year. An unfortunate and shameful display - it could’ve been amazing and the potential can be seen when playing it but it simply misses the target too often. If the game was more grounded with it’s design, characters, story (basically everything) and took on a more Deus Ex approach with regards to unlocking rooms, having secrets, returning to places explored to find something new has opened up or happened, much better graphics despite the platform, and stuck with the originalities of previous incarnations of Wolfenstein then this could’ve been the game of the year, however as it stands, this is total balls and a massive disappointment and don’t even get me started on the underwater suit part or going to the Moon for fuck sakes.

Just found a folder of b-sides from first album I made on my HD. #Reason #Music

Just found a folder of b-sides from first album I made on my HD. #Reason #Music

It amazes me that there were people driving without their lights on this morning. #justdiealready

It amazes me that there were people driving without their lights on this morning. #justdiealready